A newbie walks into work at 9:00 on his first day.

He is very late and the boss is furious. “You should have been here at 8:30!” he shouts.

“Why?” says the guy. “What happened at 8:30?”

What do you think?

My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.

What do you call a fruit getting out of prison?